- Previously onWarehouse 13... - 上集提要：《倉庫13》
- I love you, little sister, - 我愛你，細妹。
And I am counting on you to fix all of this. - 我靠你搞掂晒呢啲嘢㗎。
- You love me, and I love you. It's simple. - 你愛我，我愛你，就咁簡單。
- It's just that your life is filled with excitement - 只係你嘅生活充滿刺激
And danger, 同危險，
And it's all the things that I don't want. 而呢啲全部都係我唔想要嘅嘢。
Good-bye, Pete. - 再見，Pete。
- "but who was this woman, and why did she--" - 「但呢個女人係邊個，點解佢——」
Hey, hey, what? What, what, what, what? - 喂喂喂，咩話？咩、咩、咩、咩？
What, are you writing a book? - 咩啫，你寫緊書呀？
- No. Yes. - 唔係。係。
No, which answer will make you stop asking? - 唔係，邊個答案你會唔再問？
- No, no, I think it's cool. When did you start? - 唔係唔係，我覺得好型喎。你幾時開始㗎？
- Off and on about a year ago. - 斷斷續續，大約一年前。
- You're on page six. - 你寫到第六頁咋喎。
- More off than on. - 斷嘅時間多過續。
- Hello, hello? - 喂？喂？
- Ugh, come on, Artie, I just sat down. - 唉，咪啦Artie，我先啱啱坐低咋。
- Thank god you're here. - 好在有你喺度。
- Relax, I'm not here for you. - 放鬆啲，我唔係為你嚟㗎。
[yelling] Steve, steve, steve! - [大叫] Steve！Steve！Steve！
- What, what, are you okay? What's wrong? - 咩事、咩事？你冇嘢呀嘛？做咩呀？
- There's a ping for you and Claudia. - 有你同Claudia嘅任務提示。
- That's why you're yelling like your hair's on fire? - 就係咁所以你叫到好似頭髮著火咁？
- Whoa, so what, are you benching us or-- - 嘩，咁點呀，你係咪要雪藏我哋定——
- Why is that ping not for us? Yeah. - 點解個任務提示唔係俾我哋㗎？係囉。
- I'm worried about Claudia. - 我好擔心Claudia。
She's locked up for two days in the Warehouse. - 佢喺倉庫困咗兩日。
She's researching her sister claire. - 佢喺度研究佢家姐Claire。
It's not healthy. - 咁樣唔健康㗎。
- So you're trying to distract her. - 所以你諗住分散佢注意力。
- Yeah, because--shush you! Look, there's a ping. - 係呀，因為——收聲你！睇，有個任務提示。
There's trouble. There's artifacts. Go. - 有麻煩，有神器，去啦。
Go, go, go. - 去去去。
Ooh, is that a hoagie? - 嘩，係咪潛艇三文治嚟㗎？
Oh, I want a hoagie. - 哦，我想食潛艇三文治。
- He'll get nothing and like it. - 佢乜都冇得食，仲要鍾意。
- Hello, Pete? - Kelly. - 喂，Pete？ - Kelly。
Wha--hey. - 咩——喂。
- I'm sorry to burst in like this, but I'm in trouble. - 唔好意思咁衝入嚟，但我有麻煩。
- Oh, my god. - 天啊。
Are you--are we--am I-- - 你係咪——我哋係咪——我係咪——
But we were--oh, my god. - 但我哋之前——天啊。
- You know what, I'm going to leave you two alone. - 咁樣，我俾你哋兩個慢慢傾。
- Myka, please stay. - Myka，唔好走住。
Pete, relax, this isn't about the baby. - Pete，放鬆啲，唔關BB事。
It's not yours. I'm married. - 唔係你嘅，我結咗婚㗎。
Besides, we broke up, like, two years ago. - 況且，我哋兩年前已經分手啦。
You do know how babies are made, right? - 你知唔知BB點樣嚟㗎？
- Pete, exhale. - Pete，唞氣。
- [exhales] thank you. - [唞氣] 多謝。
[chuckles] that's-- wow, that's great. - [笑] 咁——嘩，咁就好啦。
Congrats. - 恭喜晒。
- Listen, I actually need both your help. - 聽講，我其實需要你兩個幫手。
My grandmother's tv is possessed. - 我婆婆部電視俾鬼上身。
- Well, if I can't temper her outbursts, - 如果控制唔到佢嘅情緒爆發，
Maybe I should focus on her telekinesis. - 或者我應該專注佢嘅念力。
- Claude. - Claude。
- I could recreate the music box song and do a brain scan... - 我可以重現音樂盒首歌再做大腦掃描……
- Claude. - Claude。
- But then she'd have to be awake - 但咁佢就要醒住
And could blow up the building. - 仲可能會炸咗棟樓。
- Claude! - Ahh! Jeez. - Claude！ - 哎呀！嘩。
Don't sneak up on me like that. - 唔好咁樣嚇我啦。
- I've been standing here. - 我一直企喺度㗎。
- Well, stand louder. - 咁你企大聲啲啦。
- You're tense. - 你好緊張喎。
- [exhales] - How's it going? - [唞氣] - 進展點呀？
- I want to punch things. - 我想打人。
- Okay, you need a break. We got a ping. - 好，你需要休息吓。我哋收到個任務提示。
- What? No. No, no, no, no. No. - 咩話？唔得。唔得唔得唔得唔得。
I have so much work to do. - 我仲有好多嘢要做。
I'm on the verge of a major breakthrough here, so... - 我差唔多有大突破㗎啦，所以……
- Oh, really? What, uh--what is that? - 哦，係咩？咁——呢個係咩嚟㗎？
- Well, it's--you know. - 呢個係——你知啦。
I can--I can circumvent-- - 我可以——我可以繞過——
Oh, god, I hate being friends with you. - 天啊，我好憎同你做朋友。
- "charlie battes, college student. - 「Charlie Battes，大學生。
"while giving a presentation in class, - 「喺課堂做簡報期間，
His spine spontaneously broke in three places." - 「佢嘅脊椎突然喺三個地方斷裂。」
- Did Artie send you? - 係咪Artie叫你嚟㗎？
- No, I saw it on cnn. Yes, Artie sent me. - 唔係，我喺CNN見到。係呀，Artie叫我嚟。
- [groans] fine, I'll go, errand boy. - [呻吟] 好，我去啦，跑腿仔。
But this better be snappy. - 但最好快脆搞掂。
- Oh, yeah, man, I love books. I'm a big fan of books. - 哦，係呀，我鍾意書。我好鍾意書㗎。
As a matter of fact, I got a lot of great ideas for your book. - 事實上，我對你本書有好多好橋。
Now, I'm guessing it's kind of - 我估係
A spy romance novel with a sci-fi bent. - 間諜愛情小說加少少科幻元素。
Well, do you think we could get some robots in there? - 你覺得可唔可以加啲機械人落去？
- Yeah, Pete, definitely. You know, naked, sexy fembots. - 係呀Pete，一定得。你知啦，裸體性感女機械人。
- Kelly, thank god, just please distract him. - Kelly，好在你嚟，快啲引開佢。
- So my nana's been homebound ever since my grandpa died. - 我婆婆自從我公公過身之後就成日留喺屋企。
- Right, and you said that was two years ago? - 係，你話係兩年前？
- Yes, I usually come twice a week to bring her food, - 係，我通常一星期嚟兩次帶食物俾佢、
Magazines, and usually she's in there watching tv, 雜誌，平時佢都喺度睇電視，
But this morning, I just found this. 但今朝我淨係見到呢樣嘢。
- Ooh, and this is what was on when you found it? - 嘩，你見到嘅時候就係播緊呢個？
- Yes. - 係。
It's my nana's favorite telenovela, - 係我婆婆最鍾意嘅電視劇，
Seduccion salvaje, "savage seduction." 《野性誘惑》。
But it was cancelled. It ended last night. - 但已經停播咗，尋晚大結局。
- Right, not to mention-- - 係，仲有——
- I unplugged it when nothing else turned it off, - 我熄唔到就拔咗插蘇，
And as you can see, it didn't work. - 你睇到啦，冇用。
- Where is your nana now? - 你婆婆而家喺邊？
- I don't know. I called everybody. - 我唔知。我打晒電話俾所有人。
I called the police, but they told me I had to wait 24 hours. - 我報咗警，但佢哋話要等24小時。
I can't. - 我等唔到。
I just know there's something wrong. - 我知一定有問題。
- Guys... - Yeah? - 喂…… - 嗯？
- Is that her? - 係咪佢？
[indistinct TV chatter] - [電視模糊聲]
- Oh, my god, nana? - 天啊，婆婆？
[Spanish music] - [西班牙音樂]
♪ ♪ - ♪ ♪
- Okay, wait a minute. - 好，等陣。
Are you telling me my nana's trapped inside a telenovela? - 你係話我婆婆困咗喺電視劇入面？
- Apparently. - 明顯係。
Now, on the upside, - 好嘅方面睇，
It looks like she's got a pretty good part. - 佢好似有個幾好嘅角色。
- She's playing the part of dona fausta obregon, - 佢做緊Dona Fausta Obregon，
The wise matriarch of the obregon dynasty. - Obregon家族嘅智慧大家長。
- Is this tv new? - 呢部電視係新嘅？
- No, she got it over a year ago. - 唔係，佢一年前買嘅。
- And you said that the telenovela ended? - 你話套電視劇完咗？
- Yes, I mean, my nana was actually pretty upset about it. - 係，我婆婆其實好唔開心。
- You say that it was cancelled, - 你話停播咗，
And yet it's still on tv. - 但而家仲播緊。
Nothing. - This is the series finale. - 冇嘢。 - 呢個係大結局。
This is where dona fausta gets murdered. - 呢度Dona Fausta會俾人殺。
Oh, my god, does that mean my grandma's-- - 天啊，咁係咪即係我婆婆——
- Wait, wait, wait. - No, no, no. - 等陣等陣。 - 唔好唔好唔好。
Just don't get too close-- - 唔好行咁埋——
- No,senorcat! [cat meows] - 唔好呀，貓先生！ [貓叫]
- Or that might happen. - 如果唔係就會咁。
- Mr.Gato. - Mr. Gato。
- Now at least we know how she got in there, right? - 至少我哋知佢點入去啦，係咪？
- Right. - 係。
- Now, okay, kelly, your grandmother, - 好，Kelly，你婆婆，
Has she bought anything strange or old - 有冇買過啲奇怪或者舊嘅嘢
Or kind of maybe an antique? - 或者可能係古董？
- No, I don't know. - 冇，我唔知。
Maybe. I'll go upstairs and check. - 可能啦。我上樓睇吓。
- Um, kelly, listen, everything's going to be okay. - Kelly，聽講，一切都會冇事㗎。
- I'm so glad you're here. - 好開心你喺度。
- [sighs] - [嘆氣]
What? - 做咩？
No, no, no, no, no, no, no. - 唔好唔好唔好唔好唔好唔好唔好。
- Oh, no, I'm not talking about that. - 哦，唔係，我唔係講緊嗰樣嘢。
- Myka, please, she's married, she's got a belly out to here. - Myka，求吓你，佢結咗婚，個肚大到咁。
- Look, it's none of my business. - 睇吓，唔關我事。
I don't know, can we just please go find some artifacts? - 我唔知，可唔可以快啲去搵神器？
- We're going to find the artifacts. - 我哋會去搵神器。
- And here we are. - 到咗。
I love this car. - 我好鍾意呢架車。
- Could you say that more often? - 你可唔可以講多啲？
Because once every two minutes just isn't enough. - 因為兩分鐘一次真係唔夠。
- No, seriously, how many cars tell you where the campus is, - 唔係，認真，有幾多架車會話你知校園喺邊、
Where the best parking spot is? 邊度泊車最好？
It even tells me which building we want. - 仲話我知我哋要去邊棟樓。
- Ah, but can it give me a good reason - 但佢可唔可以俾個好理由我
To actually go to college? 去讀大學？
Kind of just seems like a waste of four years to me. - 我覺得係浪費四年時間。
- An education, a job, a career. - 教育、工作、事業。
- Got it, got it, and got it, and I didn't go to college. - 明晒、明晒、明晒，我冇讀大學。
I'm also not in debt for the rest of my life. - 我亦唔使一世欠債。
- Hey, I'll be paid up in the next five years. - 喂，我五年內就會還晒。
- Oh, in that case, sign me up. - 哦，咁嘅話，幫我報名。
- Yes, you can do an expose on bill clinton if you want, - 係，你想爆料Bill Clinton都得，
But I'd say you're late to the party, okay? - 但我話你知，你太遲啦，好嗎？
- Professor moulton. - Moulton教授。
- Yes. Oh, agent Jinks, I presume. - 係。哦，我估係Jinks探員。
- Thanks for meeting with us. - 多謝你見我哋。
This is my partner, agent Donovan. - 呢位係我拍檔，Donovan探員。
- Nice to meet you. - Professor. - 你好。 - 教授。
- Now, the hospital didn't have a medical explanation - 醫院冇醫學解釋
For what happened to charlie, and we were hoping Charlie發生咩事，我哋希望
That you could fill us in. 你可以話俾我哋知。
- Honestly, I don't have an explanation either. - 老實講，我都冇解釋。
Mr. Battes was giving a presentation - Battes先生當時做緊簡報
On gonzo journalism. 關於貢佐新聞學。
About five minutes into it, this shadow, - 大約五分鐘後，有個黑影，
Is the only word to describe it, 我只能咁形容，
Came flying in and slammed charlie against the wall, 飛入嚟將Charlie撞埋牆，
And then it was gone. 然後就消失咗。
Strangest thing I ever saw. - 我見過最奇怪嘅事。
- Always is. - 成日都係。
- And such a shame. - 真係可惜。
He was a bit of a slacker, but this report was impressive, - 佢有啲懶散，但呢份報告好出色，
Insightful, even. 甚至好有見地。
- Couldn't have been that insightful. - 唔會咁有見地啩。
The hospital said he had alcohol poisoning. - 醫院話佢酒精中毒。
- Impossible. I've had inebriated students. - 冇可能。我見過醉酒嘅學生。
Mr. Battes was stone-cold sober. - Battes先生完全清醒。
If you'll excuse me. - 唔好意思。
- Well, yeah, but thensenorcat got too close and p-zam! - 係囉，但貓先生行得太埋就「嘭」！
Now he's on daytime tv. - 而家佢上咗電視。
- The tv could be a conduit or a portal for the artifact. - 部電視可能係神器嘅通道或者入口。
- Okay, but none of granny's tchotchkes - 好，但婆婆啲小擺設冇問題。
Are making any sparks. 係咪整到出火花呀。
- The artifact could be in there with her. - 件文物可能同佢一齊喺入面。
- Uh-oh. - 弊傢伙。
- Pete-- - Pete...
- [screams] -abuela,no! - [尖叫] 阿婆，唔好呀！
- Kelly, don't! - Kelly，唔好呀！
-abuelita, estas bien? - 阿婆，你冇事呀嘛？
- [speaking spanish] - [講西班牙文]
- Holy poltergeist. - 嘩，鬼影幢幢。
- What? What was that light? - 咩話？啲光係咩嚟㗎？
- [speaking spanish] - [講西班牙文]
- This house is not clean. - 呢間屋唔乾淨。
- What? Speak english! - 咩話？講英文啦！
- Artie...
Things just got cray-cray. 呢鑊真係大鑊喇。
[both speaking Spanish] - [兩個都講西班牙文]
- [gasps] - [倒抽一口氣]
[cat yowls] [貓叫聲]
- Hello, Pete? - Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm in here. - 喂，Pete？ - 係係係，我喺呢度。
- What's happening? - 發生咩事？
- Well, I don't speak spanish, - 我唔識西班牙文㗎，
But Myka's a super hot maid who hates kelly, 但Myka變咗個超索嘅女傭，仲好憎Kelly，
And their waiting for this guy, armando, 佢哋等緊個叫Armando嘅男人，
Who I'm hoping doesn't show up 我希望佢唔好出現，
'cause I really want to see these two make out. 因為我真係好想睇呢兩個咀嘴。
- I meant with the artifact. - 我係話件文物呀。
- Oh, right, um, there's nothing in the house, - 哦，係喎，間屋冇嘢，
But grandma got this in the mail yesterday 但阿婆尋日收到呢個郵包，
From the telenovela people. 係電視劇嗰邊寄嚟㗎。
- What does it say? - I don't know. It's in spanish. - 上面寫咩？ - 我唔知，係西班牙文嚟㗎。
- Give me that. I happen to read spanish. - 俾我睇，我啱啱識睇西班牙文。
Dear mrs. Hernandez, blah, blah, blah-- 親愛嘅Hernandez太太， blah blah blah...
- Really, blah, blah, blah? - 真係blah blah blah？
What, is that spanish for "blah, blah, blah"? 咩呀，西班牙文嘅blah blah blah係咁解㗎？
- "for being such a huge fan, - 「多謝你咁支持我哋，
"please accept this obregon brooch 請收下呢個Obregon胸針，
That dona fausta wore in the show." 係Dona Fausta喺劇中戴過嘅。」
- A brooch, as in a fancy pin? - 胸針，即係靚靚嘅扣針？
- A brooch, as in that. - 胸針，即係嗰個。
- Ooh, bling ping. - 嘩，閃令令。
- Okay, dudes, this is charlie's room. - 好喇，各位，呢度係Charlie嘅房。
- Ugh, another temple of higher learning. - 唉，又一個學術聖殿。
Ugh, kids today. 唉，而家啲細路。
- Kids today are your age. - 而家啲細路同你差唔多年紀咋。
- Then they should have better taste. - 咁佢哋就應該有更好嘅品味啦。
- So, dan, would you say - 咁Dan，你覺得
That charlie was a studier or a partier? Charlie係讀書型定係玩樂型？
- Yeah, definitely. - 係，肯定係。
Dude, he wants to study and party, obviously, like everyone. 老友，佢梗係又想讀書又想玩啦，同所有人一樣。
- Uh-huh. - 嗯哼。
So when was the last time you saw him? 咁你最後一次見佢係幾時？
- This morning. - 今朝。
I don't know, around 6:30? 大約六點半左右啦？
- Oh, right before moulton's class? - 哦，即係Moulton堂之前？
- I don't know how he got there. - 我唔知佢點樣去到嗰度。
Charlie partied hearty all night, Charlie成晚玩到好癲，
I mean, I bailed at sunrise, 我日出就頂唔順走咗，
He was still barfing off the side of the bridge. 佢仲喺橋邊嘔緊。
- Moulton said he was sober and insightful half an hour later. - Moulton話半個鐘後佢好清醒仲好有見地。
- Dude, try barely walking. - 老友，佢連行路都唔穩呀。
- Okay, but how does a cheap tv prop - 好，但係點解一個平價電視道具
Become an artifact? 會變成文物？
- Probably was just a cheap tv prop - 可能本來只係個平價電視道具，
Until kelly's grandmother got it. 直到Kelly嘅阿婆收到佢。
Elderly shut-in, lost her husband. 老人家獨居，冇咗老公。
Sometimes people fill a void 有時人會用沉迷追劇
With an obsessive attachment to a tv show. 嚟填補空虛。
- Hey, I watchbreaking amish because I like it, okay? - 喂，我睇《Breaking Amish》係因為我鍾意，好冇？
I can quit anytime. 我隨時可以戒㗎。
- When her telenovela was cancelled, - 當佢嘅肥皂劇被腰斬，
Maybe the brooch was imbued with her longing to escape. 可能個胸針就注入咗佢想逃離現實嘅渴望。
- Yeah, but if she can make a new artifact out of something - 係，但如果佢可以用我哋完全唔知嘅嘢
We know nothing about, then how do we stop it? 整出新文物，咁我哋點樣阻止？
- By getting in there and neutralizing it - 入去中和佢，
Before the episode ends and hortencia dies. 喺呢集完結同Hortencia死之前。
- Yeah, but, Artie, then we could end up - 係，但Artie，咁我哋可能會
Just like Myka and kelly. 變成同Myka同Kelly一樣。
I mean, they're not just playing maribel and carmen, 我意思係，佢哋唔只係扮演Maribel同Carmen，
They are maribel and carmen. 佢哋真係變咗Maribel同Carmen。
- These cufflinks, they once belonged - 呢對袖口鈕，係Harvey Korman
To harvey korman fromthe carol burnett show. 喺《Carol Burnett Show》用過嘅。
He was famous for never being able to stay in character. 佢出名永遠唔會入戲。
As long as you and I each hold one of these, 只要你同我每人拎住一粒，
We will stay ourselves. 我哋就會保持自我。
You ready? 準備好未？
- Sure. - 好。
Oh, hey, Artie? 哦，喂，Artie？
Next week can we go meet honey boo boo? 下星期我哋可唔可以去見Honey Boo Boo？
- Shut up and get in the tv. - Okay. - 收聲，快啲入電視。 - 好。
[speaking Spanish] [講西班牙文]
[laughs] [笑]
- Congrats. - 恭喜。
Your prius found their off-campus study group. 你架Prius搵到佢哋嘅校外讀書小組。
- This glass is on top of the dust. - 呢塊玻璃喺塵上面。
This window must have been shattered recently, 呢個窗應該係最近打爛嘅，
Maybe this morning. 可能係今朝。
- Well, dan said charlie was up there. - Dan話Charlie喺上面。
- Oh, you think he fell from the bridge? - 你覺得佢係由橋上跌落嚟？
- Yeah... - 係...
Oh, hey. 哦，喂。
[blows] [吹氣]
Look at this. 睇吓呢度。
Higher education at work. 高等教育嘅成果。
Oh, our guy was a videographer. 我哋條友係個拍片嘅。
- Hey, charlie, careful. - 喂，Charlie，小心。
- Ppz rules! Whoo! - Ppz 萬歲！嗚！
#mihi ardeat lucerna!
Whoo-- oh! 嗚——噢！
- Ooh. - Ouch. - 噢。 - 痛。
- That had to hurt. - 一定好痛。
- Claude, the way that he hit, - Claude，佢撞落去嘅方式，
That fits the impact that professor moulton described 同教授Moulton描述Charlie撞牆嘅衝擊力吻合。
When charlie slammed into the wall. - 亦解釋咗佢點解整斷背脊。
- It also explains his broken back. 條友仔仲生存到真係好彩。
I mean, the goober's lucky he's still alive. 呢段片係朝早7點14分拍嘅。
This video was taken at 7:14 a.M. 即係Charlie做簡報嘅時候。
That's right in the middle of charlie's presentation. - 咁佢同一時間喺兩個地方？
- So he was in two places at once? - Sam，再播一次。
- Let's play that again, sam. Mihi ardeat lucerna!
嗚—— [撞擊聲]
Whoo-- [crash] - 係拉丁文，意思係「我嘅蠟燭燃燒」。
- That's latin. It means "my candle burns." 點解一個大學生會嗌呢句？
Why would a college kid yell that? - Ppz，可能係Psi Phi Zeta，
- Ppz, that could be psi phi zeta, 拉丁文可能係兄弟會嘅格言。
And the latin, that could be a fraternity motto. - 做得好，Jinksy。
- Nice work, jinksy. 等等，你以前入過兄弟會？
Wait, were you in a frat? 天啊，你真係入過兄弟會。
Oh, my god, you were in a frat. 我賭你一定好似Hoover咁。
I bet you were just like hoover. - [倒抽一口氣]
- [gasps] - Armando！
- Armando! - [嘆氣] Kelly...
- [sighs] kelly... Ay！
Ay! 咩...咩...咩...uh...
Wha--wha--wha--uh... [電話響]
[phone beeps] - 我從來未見過Charlie。
- I ain't never met charlie. - 咁佢唔係呢度嘅新會員。
- So he isn't a pledge here. - 我唔係咁諗。
- I don't think so. - 點解你呃我哋，Biff？
- Why are you lying to us, biff? - 我叫Bryce，我冇呃人。
- It's bryce, and I'm not. - 嗯哼，咁呢個呢？
- Uh-huh, and what about this? - Mihi ardeat lucerna!
-mihi ardeat lucerna! - 呢個係你哋兄弟會嘅格言，我冇講錯掛。
- That's your frat motto, I believe. - 隨便啦，佢知我哋格言
- Whatever, just 'cause he knows our motto 唔代表佢係新會員。
Doesn't mean he's pledging. - 咁你唔介意我哋周圍睇吓？
- So you don't mind if we have a look around, then? - 睇你搵咩啦。
- It depends what you're looking for. - 喂，靚女，做咩呀？
- Hey, pretty lady, what's up? - Ox，死嘢，Ox，快啲落返去。
- Ox, damn it, ox, get back downstairs. 我老竇喺明尼蘇達開最大間律師樓。
Look, my dad runs the biggest law firm in minnesota. 我知我嘅權利，拎搜查令先啦。
I know my rights. Get a warrant. - 好人一個。
- Nice guy. - 係，大學真係好犀利。
- Yep, college sure is impressive. - Claude，睇吓，嗰個係咪Ox？
- Claude, look, isn't that ox? - 係，Ox啱啱落咗樓下。
- Yeah, ox just went back downstairs. 我想睇吓樓下有咩。
I want to see what's down there. 嚟啦。
Come on. 所有人：飲，飲，飲，飲，飲，飲，飲，
All: Chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, 飲，飲，飲，飲，飲，飲！
Chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug! - [打嗝]
- [burps] - 我諗呢班兄弟會廢柴有件分身文物。
- Methinks these frat losers have a duplication artifact. 將你分開兩份。
Splits you in two. 一個你玩到癲，一個你做到死。
A you that parties hard, and a you that works hard. 所有人：飲，飲，飲，飲，飲，飲，飲，飲，飲！
All: Chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug! [所有人歡呼]
[all cheering] - 喂，老友，我諗我要嘔。
- Oh, dude, I think I'm gonna puke. [嘔吐]
[vomits] - [尖叫] [槍聲]
- [screams] [gunshot] [倒抽一口氣] Dona Fausta！
[gasps] Dona fausta! [倒抽一口氣]
[gasps] Dona...
Dona-- 哦...Uh...
Oh...Uh... - Caramba。
-caramba. [背景西班牙文對話]
[background chatter in Spanish] 所有人：Ah。
All: Ah. - Allá。 - Allá？
-alla. -alla? - [講西班牙文]
- [speaking spanish] - Ah。
- Ah. - 好，我哋融入人群，落地下室，攞走文物。
- Okay, we blend in, we hit the basement, we bag the artifact. 好計劃，但係Bryce會認得我哋嘅樣。
That's a great plan, except that bryce will recognize our faces. - 唔使擔心，佢唔會睇我哋塊面。
- Oh, don't worry, he won't be looking at our faces. - [笑] - 嗯哼。
- [chuckles] - Mm-hmm. - 做得好，兩位女士，休息五分鐘。
Nice work, ladies, take five. 好喇，兄弟會細路，我準備行入去嘅
All right, frat boy, what kind of heathen initiation ritual 係咩野蠻入會儀式？
Am I about to walk into here? - 我唔知，我嗰個兄弟會唔係咁。
- I don't know. My frat wasn't like this. 我哋有讀書會同聖誕清唱。
We had book club and yuletide a cappella. 請當我冇講過。
Please forget that I said that. - 天啊，越講越有趣。
- Oh, my god. It just gets better. - 我話我哋跟住佢。 - 好。
- I say we follow him. - Oh, yeah. - 唔好等我呀！
- Don't start without me! 所有人：Mihi ardeat lucerna, mihi ardeat...
All:mihi ardeat lucerna, mihi ardeat... - 好，佢哋唔係搞聖誕清唱。
- Okay, they're not doing yuletide a cappella. - Aye-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi。
- Aye-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi. - 咁你嘅雙峰可唔可以帶我哋入去？
- So can your twin peaks get us in there? - 呢個只係我眾多超能力之一。
- These are only one of my many superpowers. - 等等，各位，等等。
- Wait, guys, wait. - 睇住嚟。
- Watch this. [咯咯笑] 天啊。
[giggles] Oh, my god.
I am so drunk. You got to help me. 我飲到好醉，你要幫我呀。
You're up, plebe. 到你啦，新仔。
All: Mihi ardeat lucerna. 全體：Mihi ardeat lucerna。
Mihi ardeat lucerna. Mihi ardeat lucerna。
- Mihi...
- My candle burns at both ends. - 我支蠟燭兩頭燒。
All: It will not last the night. 全體：佢捱唔到成晚。
- But all my foes and all my friends... - 但所有敵人同朋友...
All: It gives a lovely light. 全體：佢發出好靚嘅光。
Psi phi zeta burn. Psi phi zeta 燒。
Psi phi zeta bright. Psi phi zeta 光。
Psi phi zeta learn. Psi phi zeta 學。
Psi phi zeta all night. Psi phi zeta 成晚。
- Hey, what the hell is that, man? - 喂，呢個係咩嚟㗎？
- You again. - 又係你。
- Bryce, you have no idea how dangerous that is. - Bryce，你唔知呢樣嘢有幾危險。
You got to give me that candle. 你要俾支蠟燭我。
- This guy's an atf agent. - 呢條友係煙酒槍械管理局嘅探員。
- [screams] - [尖叫]
- Steve, what happened? - Steve，發生咩事？
Did you get the artifact? Was that you screaming? 你拎到件文物未？係咪你尖叫？
- Oh, honey, I didn't scream. - 噢，親愛嘅，我冇尖叫。
It was that silly bitch. 係嗰個蠢女人。
- Oh, grow up. - 噢，成熟啲啦。
- No, no, no, no, no, no. - 唔得唔得唔得唔得。
- Ole! - Ole！
- Ay! - Ay！
- [panting] - [喘氣] Ay！ [作嘔聲]
Ay! [gagging] - Ole！
- Ole! Ole！
Ole! - [咳]
- [coughing] - Maribel，maribel。
- Maribel, maribel. Si。
Si. - Ole！
- Ole! - Hmm？
- Hmm? - 兩個Steve，我話呢個真係正到爆？
- Two steves, can I just say this is amaze-balls? - 其實唔係。
- Actually it's not. 一件危險嘅文物已經夠差，
A dangerous artifact is bad enough, 但呢個——呢個係未成年飲酒嘅問題。
But this--this is rampant underage drinking. - 噢，喊啦喊啦，Nancy Drew。
- Oh, boo-hoo, nancy drew. - 我哋應該報警。
- We should call the police. - 放鬆啲啦，好唔好？
- Un-bunch your panties, will you? 我意思係，睇吓我哋嘅好姊妹，啲女仔出晒嚟，
I mean, check out our bestie, the girls are out, 佢哋靚到爆。
And they are looking fabulous. 呢個係派對。
It's a party. 你要放鬆你嘅骨盆底肌，
You need to relax your kegel 然後用Daiquiri浸死我，你個死八婆！
And drown me in a daiquiri, you insufferable bitch! - 我哋要搵到件文物先，你唔好搞死我，
- We need to find this artifact first before you kill me, 你個不負責任嘅淫婦！
You irresponsible slut! - Steves，mm，我兩個都愛，你多啲，
- Steves, mm, loving you both, you a little bit more, 但我哋分頭搵Bryce，好唔好？
But let's just split up and find bryce, okay? - 第一個電到兄弟會成員嘅就留住佢。
- First one to zap a frat boy gets to keep him. - 噢，老友！
- Oh, man! [笑] 其實呢個係我嘅警徽。Bryce喺邊？
[laughs] actually, this is my badge. Where's bryce? - 你父母知唔知你喺度？
- Do your parents know that you're here? - Bryce。睇住我嘅嘴。
- Bryce. Look at my lips. Bryce。我搵緊Bryce。
Bryce. I'm looking for bryce. 你識唔識佢？
Do you know him? - 喂，俾我睇你嘅駕駛執照。
- Hey, let me see your driver's license. - 我對眼喺上面。Bryce。
- My eyes are up here. Bryce. - 修咗眉，頸背乾淨，
- Plucked brow, clean back of the neck, 指甲完美，你係基嘅。
Flawless cuticles, you're gay. - 我唔係。
- No, I'm not. - 你講大話。
- You're lying. - Bryce。
- Bryce. 喂，Bryce！
Hey, bryce! - Steves。
- Steves. - 嚟啦，你個蠢材。
- Come on, you silly twit. - 噢！有冇人幫吓手？
- Oh! Can a girl get a hand? - Aye-yi-yi。
- Aye-yi-yi. - Ay。
- Ay. - 唔好唔好——ay！
- No, no--ay! - Ole！
- Ole! - Ay！Myka！
- Ay! Myka! [咳]
[coughing] - Grr。我鍾意自己咁man。
- Grr. I love it when I'm butch. - 唔好唔好，等陣。聽我講，我係無辜㗎。
- No, no, wait. Listen, I'm innocent. 我冇做過。
I didn't do it. - 做咩呀，Biff，用文物複製你啲兄弟會兄弟？
- Do what, biff, use an artifact to duplicate your frat brothers? - 你袋入面係咪有支蠟燭，
- Is that a candle in your pocket, 定係你好鍾意雙胞胎？
Or are you just really into twins? - 講吓支蠟燭，Bryce。
- Tell me about the candle, bryce. - 好，呢支係Edna St. Vincent Millay嘅，得未？
- Okay, it belonged to edna st. Vincent millay, all right? - 梗係啦。「我支蠟燭兩頭燒。
- Of course. "my candle burns at both ends. 佢捱唔到成晚。」
It will not last the night." - O.M.G. 咩字同「bore me」押韻？
- O.M.G. What rhymes with "bore me"? - 唔好打俾我老竇。
- Please don't call my dad. - 好，我哋搞掂佢。 - 噢，唔好唔好。
- Okay, let's finish this. - Oh, no, no. 我先啱啱開始咋。
I'm just getting started. - 頂你，你個邪惡雙胞胎家姐攞咗支蠟燭。
- Damn it, your evil twin sister's got the candle. - 呃...
- Uh... - Ole！
- Ole! - Ay！
- Ay! - [吸氣]
- [gasps] - [笑]
- [laughs] - Coronel！
-coronel! - Ole！
- Ole! - Si。
-si. - Ah，bueno。
-ah, bueno. - Ay！ - Dona fausta！
- Ay! - Dona fausta! 全體：飲！飲！飲！飲！飲！飲！飲！
All: Chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug! - 夠啦。
- Enough. 俾件文物我。
Give me the artifact. - 嚟攞啦，屎褲小姐。
- Come and get it, lady poopy pants. 全體：雙胞胎打架！雙胞胎打架！雙胞胎打架！
All: Twin fight! Twin fight! Twin fight! - 你係個保守嘅煩人精。
- You are a prude and a nag. - 你係個自戀嘅淫婦。
- You're a self-obsessed slut. - 你係最差嘅基佬。
- You are the worst gay guy ever. - 噢！
- Ow! - [尖叫]
- [screams] - [呻吟]
- [groans] - Ole！
- Ole! - Ay！
- Ay! 全體：雙胞胎打架！雙胞胎打架！雙胞胎打架！
All: Twin fight! Twin fight! Twin fight! - 你會孤獨咁死，做個老姑婆。
- You're gonna die a lonely old hag. - 咁都好過做個街邊嘅妓女。
- Well, that's better than a whore in the gutter. - 我覺得幾好聽。
- Well, it sounds good to me. - 冇可能，秘密特工小姐。
- No way, secret agent girl. - 我喺學校應該會做得好好。
- I would have done well in school. 噢，頂。點樣整返好？
Oh, curses. How do I fix this? 唉，好，諗諗諗。之前點樣停嘅？
Ugh, okay, think, think, think. How did it stop before? Charlie跌咗落樓，Ox就暈咗。
Charlie fell off the building, ox just passed out. 呃...
Uh... 全體：雙胞胎打架！雙胞胎打架！雙胞胎打架！
All: Twin fight! Twin fight! Twin fight! - 喂，Steve。
- Hey, steve. - Claudia？
- Claudia? 靚女，搞咩呀？
Doll face, w.T.F.? - 對唔住，甜心，你真係好好玩。
- Sorry, sweetie, you were really fun. 遲啲見。
See you around sometime. [零星吸氣聲]
[scattered gasps] - 小心，小心！
- Look out, look out! [所有人叫]
[all shout] [人群歡呼]
[crowd cheers] - 你冇事嗎？ - 我覺得我要嘔。
- Are you okay? - I think I'm gonna throw up. - 噢，唔好嘔喺對鞋度。好。
- Oh, not on these shoes. Okay. - Ooh。
- Ooh. - [笑]
- [laughs] - Ahh！
- Ahh! - Ole！
- Ole! - [咳]
- [coughing] - Dona fausta！ - 唔好！
- Dona fausta! - No! [兩人嘆氣]
[both sigh] [咕嚕聲]
[purrs] - [吸氣]
- [gasps] - [吸氣]
- [gasps] - Eh？ - Ay！
- Eh? - Ay! - Oy。
- Oy. - 有冇殘留效果？
- So any residual effects? - 除咗瘀傷、宿醉，
- Besides the bruises, the hangover, 同你不停煩我
And your relentless nagging me 叫每個人做「八婆」？
To call everyone I see a "biatch"? - 再講多次！再講多次！ - 唔好，停。
- Say it again! Say it again! - No, stop that. - [笑] 好嘅方面，我覺得我諗到，
- [laughs] well, on the upside, I think I've come up with, 大概十樣新嘢可以對Claire試，
Like, ten new things to try on claire next, 所以——等陣——你係啱嘅。
So--wait for it-- you were right. 修好佢係一場馬拉松。
Fixing her is going to be a marathon. 我需要休息，我要慢慢嚟。
I needed a break, and I need to pace myself. 噢，仲有，Steve，我唔會俾你孤獨咁死，做個老姑婆。
Oh, and, steve, I will never let you die a lonely, old hag. - 多謝，八婆。
- Thanks, biatch. - 噢，Shante，你留低。
- Oh, shante, you stay. - 喂。 - 喂。
- Hey. - Hey. - Artie走咗。 - 好。
- Artie took off. - Okay. - 好奇怪，係咪？
- That was weird, right? - 奇怪嘅文物奇怪事。
- Weird artifact weirdiness. - 我哋以後唔好再提。
- Let's never talk about it again. - 提咩呀？
- Talk about what? [兩人笑]
[both laugh] - 我喺出面等你。
- You know, I'm just gonna wait for you outside. - 好。 - 好。
- Okay. - Okay. - 喂。 - 喂。
- Hey. - Hey. - 婆婆點呀？
- So how'sabuelita? - 噢，佢會冇事嘅。
- Oh, she'll be fine. 我會陪佢幾日
I'm going to spend a couple of days with her 確保佢冇問題。
To make sure she's okay. 但佢已經好迷
But she's already crazy 一套新嘅電視劇，《燃燒的愛》。
About a new telenovela, burning love. - [喊] 唔好...
- [sobbing] no... [講西班牙文]
[speaks Spanish] - 啊，佢有你真係好。
- Ah, well, she's lucky to have you. - 我識到你先係好。
- I'm lucky I knew you. - 係。開始啦。 - 見到你真係好。
- Right. Here we go. - Well, it was great seeing you. - 今日夠晒奇怪。 - 係。
- Enough weirdness for one day. - Yeah. - 多謝晒，認真，祝你好運，
- Thanks for everything, and, you know, seriously, good luck, 好，同埋對唔住我哋唔成事。
Okay, and sorry it didn't work out between us. - Pete，算啦。我哋都知唔會成功。
- Pete, please. We both know it wouldn't have worked. - [笑] 點解咁講？
- [laughs] why do you say that? - 因為你鍾意Myka。
- Because you're in love with Myka. [響號] - Pete，走啦。
[horn honks] - Pete, let's go. - 你做咗咩？我以為搞掂咗。
- What have you done? I thought this was settled. 你做咗咩？
What did you do? - 冷靜啲。你講緊咩？
- Calm down. What are you talking about? - 你知道我講緊咩。
- You know what I'm talking about. 你對Claire做咗咩？ - 冇做過。
What did you do with claire? - Nothing. 點解，發生咩事？Claire喺邊？
Why, what happened? Where's claire? - 佢唔見咗。有人帶走咗佢。
- She's gone. Someone took her. - Ole！
- Ole!